Farce: An Experience In Idiocy
by Page of Cups
Summary: Sequel to This Way. Sora wants Leon. Leon wants Sora. Riku wants Cloud. Cloud wants Riku. This shouldn't be so complicated. CxL, RxS, CxR, LxS.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Farce: An Experience In Idiocy  
**Author**: Page of Cups  
**Pairing**: Cloud Strife/Riku  
**Other Pairings**: Cloud/Leon, Riku/Sora, Leon/Sora  
**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating**: M  
**Theme**: #05 "Ano sa" (Hey, you know . . .)

**Warning: There is some sexual content in this little story between two males. Just so you know.**

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I'm not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**Chapter One**

"Hey, you know Riku's been acting really weird lately."

"Weirder than usual, you mean?"

"_Kairi_."

"What? I thought it was already weird that Riku's in love with you. Was I wrong?"

Sora Harada crossed his arms over his chest and jutted out his lower lip. Kairi laughed.

"Don't say that, okay? He isn't in love with me. He just . . . He just thinks he is."

"Don't tell me you don't like it."

"I'm flattered, but . . . I mean, yeah, I guess . . . but . . ."

"I know you've had feelings for Riku. Don't tell me you haven't."

"I'm not . . ."

"So you admit it!"

"_Kairi_! We're not talking about me here. We're talking about Riku."

"And how he's acting weird."

"Yes. He's been brooding."

"No, that's normal for Riku, too."

"Brooding more than usual. And he's gay."

"He's always been gay. You're bisexual. What's the big deal?"

"He's . . . I don't think he likes dating me."

Kairi raised her eyebrows.

"Why's that?"

"Cause when he came home for the summer, he was really happy. And I was . . . erm . . ."

"Really happy that he professed his undying love for you?"

"Something like that . . . but . . . eh . . . yeah. Anyway, he was all happy, and now he's . . ."

"Acting like Riku again?"

"Kairi! Riku isn't always so—"

"Yes, he is! Before he went off to Mitsuki, he was always moaning and groaning about this place. He wanted to get off the island. He wanted to meet new people. Obsessed with you and all upset that you liked me."

"I liked him, too. I just didn't realize I did."

"I know, Sora. We've all heard the story. Several times. You didn't know you were bisexual until your roommate pointed it out. And then you soul-searched. And now you know."

"I didn't _soul-search_."

"May as well have."

"Kairi, come on. This is important. Stop joking around."

"I don't know. What do you want me to say? So Riku's back to brooding as usual—" Sora glared. "Okay, _more _than usual. You don't think he likes dating you. Does that upset you?'

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Why? What kind of question is that? Because he's my best friend? Because it hurts my feelings that my best friend doesn't like dating me? Because . . . because . . ."

"Are you in love with him?"

"Who? Riku?"

"No, Tidus. Of course Riku. That's who we're talking about."

Sora sighed.

"No."

"So why does it upset you that he's not in love with you, either? I'd think you'd be relieved."

"I think . . . I think I've disappointed him. I think he was expecting . . . I don't know. For it to be perfect or something."

"I know!"

Sora frowned and stared.

"Hn? You know what?"

"Hey, you know your friend from school? What was his name . . .?"

"Reno?"

"No, not that idiot. His girlfriend's friend. The one that rescued you at that frat party. The one you have the hots for."

"Leon? What about him?"

Kairi snickered.

"I knew you had the hots for him. No denying it now."

Sora paused, pouted, and shoved her.

"That wasn't nice. We're just friends."

"You'd fix that if you could, though."

"Kairi, come on. What about him?"

"Didn't you say you were pretty good friends?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Didn't he invite you to visit over the break?"

"Yeah . . . Kairi, where are you going with this?"

"Why don't you and Riku go visit Leon? Break the monotony. It'll be something you two can do together, and maybe you'll even have a good time. At the very least it'll get Riku off that damn paopu tree, and you wanted to visit him, anyway."

"I want to visit him because I like him, Kairi. Don't you think bringing Riku along as my boyfriend will send him the wrong message?"

"Maybe he'll have a hot friend to catch Riku's interest. Even if he doesn't, it might get Riku out of this . . . I don't know . . . Depression he's in. After all, it'll get him off Destiny Islands, and once that happens, maybe he'll start looking at other boys. Then you can break up without hurting his feelings, and . . ."

"You want me to find him a boyfriend? I _am_ his boyfriend!"

"Right now, yes, but Sora, come on. You said you weren't in love with him."

"I'm sure I could fall in love with him."

"He's not in love with you."

"He says that he is."

"And you say that he isn't."

"I don't feel right about going behind Riku's back like this."

"You aren't going behind his back. You're helping him by forcing him to get over you. I'm sure Leon knows plenty of good-looking guys. Maybe he has a brother. Who knows? And once you've got Riku situated in a summer fling of his own, then you can have Leon all to yourself. He'll need to comfort you, after all."

A flash sparkled across Sora's eyes. He grinned.

"Leon's single, you know."

"I know, Sora. You've told me. Several times."

-----0-----

Cloud stretched his arms over his head, lengthening out his body, and yawned. Leon chuckled.

"Who was that?"

"Friend from school. He and his boyfriend are coming to visit."

Cloud groaned and propped his upper body on his elbows.

"What do you mean 'he and his boyfriend' are coming to visit?"

"I invited him to visit this summer, so he's taken me up on my offer. He just called to make sure it was still good."

"What did you tell him?"

"Since he's coming to visit, I obviously told him that it was. He's taking a bus in Friday. Don't get all bitchy because your boyfriend dumped you on the last day of term. Sora's a great guy, so be nice to him while he's here. He already went through enough rooming with Reno all year long."

"His name is Sora? Leon, I'd like you to know that boys named Sora are the bane of my existence."

Leon grunted as he shuffled through his closet.

"If you say so."

"They are!"

"What do you think I should wear?"

"What are you talking about?"

"For when Sora gets here."

Cloud groaned, rolled over, and buried his face in the pillow.

"No, Leon. Not you, too."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you go and fall for a Sora, and leave me, too."

Leon snorted.

"What? The boy Riku left you for was named Sora, too?"

"Yes."

"I know this may come as a shock to you, but not all boys named Sora are evil, boyfriend-stealers."

"This Sora is going to steal you now."

"I'm not even your real boyfriend, Cloud. I'm your best friend, and we fuck a lot. I'm a makeshift replacement for the illustrious Riku. That's about it."

"You should take me on dates."

"While I have no problem being your rebound, I'm not going to put aside my chances at a relationship for your broken heart. I love you, Cloud, but I don't love you that much."

"Your chance at a relationship is bringing a boyfriend. I don't think he's interested."

"He was single when school let out. It's a new relationship. I'm not threatened. If you had a more positive attitude, maybe you'd snag another guy."

"I don't want another guy, and you're one to talk. You're almost more miserable than I am."

"I was talking about a positive attitude in snagging a guy, not in life."

"I'd have a more positive attitude if I looked like you."

Leon turned and glanced in the mirror.

"Hey, you know it isn't easy being beautiful."

"You're a dick."

"Oh, Cloud, I wouldn't be seen with you, much less fuck you if you were ugly."

"I never said I thought I was ugly."

"I know."

"Fine. I don't need you. Evil, boyfriend-stealer Sora can have you. I don't need you."

"You said that twice. I think you protest too much."

"Leon . . ."

"I know, I know. I'm your Riku replacement. What was so great about him, anyway? I know you said he was hot, but . . ."

"He wasn't just hot. I loved him. I was . . . am . . ." Cloud buried his face into the pillow again, groaned, and looked back to Leon. "I love him. What am I supposed to do? I was fine before all of this happened. Now I'm in love and he doesn't want anything to do with me."

"You're acting pathetic."

"I'm not pathetic."

"You are. He broke up with you. Mourn and move on."

"I am mourning."

"You've been mourning for a month. You do know there's more than one guy out there, don't you?"

"Yeah. They're all evil boyfriend-stealers named Sora."

"Seriously, Cloud. This isn't the end of the world. Pick up and move on. You weren't even together for a year. It just wasn't meant to be."

"It was until that little cretin showed up."

"I thought you said Sora and Riku were best friends since they were kids."

"Well, yeah, but . . ."

"And that he started missing Sora, and _that's_ when you found out that he'd been in love with Sora all along."

"He said he loved me, too, you know."

"He still had feelings for Sora. I'm not saying he didn't have any for you, but . . . Look, just do me a favor over the next week and acknowledge that my friend Sora is not the same Riku-stealing Sora that has destroyed your life. Can you do that much for me?"

Cloud grunted.

"Sure . . ."

"Now what should I wear?"

-----0-----

Sneakers crunched and shuffled along sand. Riku sighed and placed his palms on either side of his body flat against the paopu tree trunk. His eyes never left the water.

"Hey, Sora."

"How'd you know it was me?"

Chestnut locks that pointed in all directions came into view, and then Sora turned his face up, blue eyes squinting in the sun's light. He grabbed the tree and hoisted his body up to sit beside Riku.

"You've been chasing after me out here for as long as I can remember. Who else would it be?"

Sora smiled in the soft, sheepish way that Riku used to cherish. He scooted closer and slid his fingers into Riku's long, silver tresses.

"You okay?"

Riku nodded.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"You seem down."

Riku shrugged.

"I've got something to cheer you up."

Riku wrapped his arms around his chest and turned his eyes to Sora's. He grinned.

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"I just made a phone call to a friend of mine from school. He invited me to come visit him over the summer, so Kairi and I made some arrangements. You and I are going Friday."

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"We're going to visit a friend of yours from school?"

"Yeah. His name's Leon. He's really cool. You'll like him. I just thought it might be fun to have some new people around, and I know how you like going to new places. He lives over in Hollow Bastion, and we've never been there, so I thought . . . might be fun. A little getaway from the islands. And we'll be going together. Our first vacation as a couple."

Riku nodded. He turned his face to Sora and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"I'd like that. Thank you."

He turned his eyes back to the water. Sora sighed.

-----0-----

"Remind me why we have to go to the bus station again?"

"Because if we don't pick up Sora and that boyfriend of his, how is he supposed to know where I live? It's not like he's been to Hollow Bastion before."

"So why do I need to go?"

"Because you've been in my bed for four days now. You have to get out of the house, Cloud."

"I am out of my house. I'm in yours."

"Cloud . . . You know what I meant."

"Would you stop staring at yourself in the mirror? You're sexy, okay? Sora will drool, be all yours, and I will never see you again. Take my word for it. This is what boys named Sora do to me."

"You're so melodramatic, Cloud. Get dressed. You're coming with me. Sora is going to be there with his boyfriend and I need to use you."

"Excuse me?"

"You're my boyfriend for as long as Sora is here. Got it?"

"No."

"You're hot, Cloud. You're going to get clean, and then you're going to get dressed. We are going to the bus station and we are going to be disgusting and hang all over each other until Sora gets jealous and realizes he should be with me."

"Not interested."

Leon stalked over to the bed. He reached across Cloud's huddled form, grabbed the corner of the mattress, and yanked. Cloud toppled to the floor in a mass of pillows and blankets. He groaned.

"I'm not giving you an option. Hey, you know he's bringing a boyfriend, right? Maybe he'll be hot and you can take him off Sora's hands, and then _you_ can be the boyfriend-stealer."

"I don't want his boyfriend. I want . . ."

"If you say Riku, I swear to Shiva I will kick you in the balls."

Several threats and forty-five minutes later, Cloud and Leon walked out the front door and down the street toward the bus station. Cloud glared at the other pedestrians, and when they arrived at the bus stop, he glared at the other patrons. Leon fidgeted, fiddling with his outfit several times before Cloud slapped his hand.

"Stop primping. It's revolting."

"Shut your mouth. Now remember, when Sora gets here I am your boyfriend. We've been friends for a really long time and we just got together. We have amazing chemistry, amazing sex, and you're madly in love with me."

"Does this mean you'll still fuck around with me while Sora's here?"

"Yes. I have to make him jealous."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

With every bus that arrived, Leon scooted closer and draped his wrist across Cloud's thigh. When the illustrious, boyfriend-stealing Sora didn't step off the bus, Leon moved away and adjusted his outfit. Cloud snorted.

"Who's the pathetic one now?"

"Shut your mouth."

"What's this Sora kid like, anyway? He was Reno's roommate?"

"Yes, and managed to deal with him for two semesters. He's amazing. Big blue eyes. Chestnut brown hair. He's kind of got that messy, spiky look like you do. Sweet. A little naïve, but it's part of his charm, really."

Cloud grunted.

"He sure sounds like Riku's Sora. This must be how they steal boyfriends. That innocent thing. You're a creep, you know? Trying to ruin a nice boy like that."

"Cloud, not all boys named Sora are the same. Besides, I'm not even your boyfriend."

"You are for as long as Sora's here or until he comes chasing after you. Whichever comes first, right? Boyfriend-stealer."

"Shut up, Cloud. No mourning while he's here. You have to make the impression that you're madly in love with me."

"I seriously hate you right now."

A bus pulled into the station. Leon jumped to his feet, grabbed Cloud's hand, and yanked him up. Their hips pressed together. Cloud was about to roll his eyes when Leon jutted him in the ribs and pointed.

"That's him. So that must be his boyfriend."

Cloud frowned and looked across the people coming off the bus for a brown, spiky-haired kid. He found him standing next to . . .

Cloud ripped his hand from Leon's and extended his arm around his waist. He forced the brightest smile he could manage and dragged him toward the couple.

"Cloud, what the hell?"

"Shut up, Leon."

-----0-----

The bus ride to Hollow Bastion dragged. Riku spent most of his time staring out the window.

Hollow Bastion. The last time Riku heard of that town it'd been from Cloud, but Riku tried to not think about Cloud anymore. It was . . . He sighed. It was a thing of the past that was best forgotten. He glanced to Sora in the seat beside him and tried to smile. This was supposed to be a fun time. He'd get to meet one of Sora's school friends. They'd be away from the islands for a few days. He didn't have to brood. What did it matter if this was his ex-boyfriend's hometown anyway? It was a big place. He wouldn't run into Cloud. It just couldn't happen, and if it did . . . The awkward scenario would be more than he could take. Especially since he hadn't mentioned his ex-boyfriend's existence to Sora in the first place.

Cloud. Riku couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in love with him, but he finally had the nerve to tell Sora everything—about his sexuality, about how he felt, and he just . . . He'd loved Sora for so long he couldn't miss the opportunity to get everything he'd ever wanted from someone who . . .

Oh, screw it. There was no explanation; Riku was a fucking idiot. He was in love with Cloud and this thing with Sora . . . He thought it would be everything with Cloud and more, but it didn't even compare. Everything they'd shared, all those nights together . . . He was in love with Cloud. Sora wasn't even half of it, and he was a moron because now . . . He spent all that time pining over Sora, talking about him, and now they were dating and Cloud probably wanted nothing to do with him after the way Riku just pulled away, cut him out of his life. Everything he'd thought it would be with Sora was what he'd already had and Riku had been stupid enough to destroy it.

Hollow Bastion. Riku prayed it was a big place. He prayed Cloud wasn't home for the summer. That he'd never so much as pass by Cloud on a busy, crowded street.

Cloud . . .

It was like those horrible, corny love songs, Riku supposed. Where he couldn't start doing without the center of his life. Where he'd fall apart if they never made love again. Where he thought about every single day and it felt like he was dying inside with every second that passed. Where it was all his fault for thinking Sora was "the one" without realizing he already had the love of his life. Where he never noticed because he was too preoccupied with "what ifs" and "maybes" to recognize reality.

As the bus pulled into the station, Riku stood to his feet and pulled his bag from the overhead compartment. He followed Sora down the aisle and took a deep breath before stepping off the bus. He watched Sora as he scanned the station, and then his eyes darkened for a second before they brightened again. Riku frowned.

"There he is," said Sora. He grabbed Riku's arm, and started dragging him through the hoards of people. He followed Sora's gaze to a tall, very attractive man with gorgeous chocolate hair. Riku's stomach dropped to his knees. Cloud was attached to his arm. Smiling.

Out of all the Leon's in the world, Sora's friend Leon just had to be the one that wasn't actually named Leon.

"Hey," said Leon, detaching from Cloud. He wrapped Sora in a hug.

"Hi," said Sora. "Um . . . Leon, this is my boyfriend, Riku. Riku, this is Leon."

Leon's eyes met his for a second. It was long enough for Riku to see the glint of recognition.

"Hey," said Riku.

"Um . . . hi," said Leon. Cloud coughed. "Oh, yeah . . . eh, Sora, this is Cloud. My boyfriend. Cloud . . . this is Sora."

Cloud nodded at Sora, arm reattached to Leon's.

"It's nice to meet you, Sora. I've heard a lot about you." He turned his head and nodded. "Riku."

Riku tried to smile. It felt rather weak.

"Cloud."

"I . . . I didn't know you had a boyfriend," said Sora.

"Yeah, well, it just kind of happened," said Leon. "We've been friends forever, but . . ."

"We just realized how much we care for each other," said Cloud.

Sora chuckled.

"Yeah. That's me and Riku, too. We've been friends forever but we just started dating. It's kind of weird going from friend to relationship, but I think we're managing all right."

Riku cocked an eyebrow. He and Sora had never been as distant as they were now. It was mostly his fault, but . . .

"So, yeah," said Leon. "Is that all your luggage?"

"Yep," said Sora.

"Light travelers."

"Riku's weird about not keeping his stuff with him. It's all carry on or nothing."

"Well . . . I guess we should get going, then. It's not too far. We walked so I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, no. We kind of walk everywhere on Destiny Islands so . . . lead the way."

Riku grabbed Sora's arm as Cloud and Leon turned, holding him back for a few seconds, and then started to walk again at a safe distance.

"You like him," said Riku.

"No! I . . ."

"Yes, you do. I could tell something was off the second you saw him with Cloud, and now I know why."

"No, Riku, I . . ."

"It's okay. I want Cloud."

Sora's eyes grew huge. He took a step back.

"_Riku_, you don't even know him! I'm your boyfriend! How could you? I mean . . . You're going to . . ."

"Sora, listen. Cloud was my roommate at Mitsuki. We were dating. I broke up with him because I wanted to tell you how I felt when I got home, but . . ."

"Cloud was . . ."

"Yes. I'm sorry I never mentioned it before, okay? I didn't tell you because I was trying to get you to date me, but now . . . I'm in love with him. I thought I wanted to be with you, but it really sucks. We're friends; not lovers. I know you feel it, too."

Sora hesitated and then sighed.

"Kairi talked me into bringing you here so I could hook you up with someone else. I wasn't going for it, but she convinced me because I really like Leon."

Riku arched an eyebrow.

"So you were conspiring against me from the beginning."

"Hey, you know how Kairi can be. She's very persuasive."

"We don't really have the time to talk about this right now, but I want you to tell me all about you and Leon later. Until then, pretend like nothing's changed."

"As long as you tell me all about Cloud."

"It's a deal."

"Did we just break up?"

"Not as far as Leon and Cloud are concerned, but I think so."

"I thought it would go worse than this. This isn't too bad."

Riku grinned.

"I could never hate you if that's what you mean. We obviously just don't have the chemistry we thought we did."

"Does this mean we're scheming again?"

"Just you and me, Harada. Thick as thieves."

Sora grinned.

"And as talented, too. So, Asaki, you'll help me get Leon?"

"If you tell me all about him and help me get Cloud back."

"If you tell me all about him. Really? You're in love with him? You dated him at school?" said Sora. Riku sighed and nodded. "Is that what's been bothering you?"

"Yes. Is Leon what made you so excited about this trip?"

Sora gave him a wry smirk.

"Yeah . . . Come on, Riku. Did you see him? He's not . . . He's so . . . He's so hot."

"Yes, I saw that."

"Cloud's not bad, either."

"Watch yourself. That's my soon-to-be former ex-boyfriend you're talking about."

"I can't believe you dumped him for me."

"Don't go getting an ego on me, Harada."

"It's just very flattering."

"Hey, are we diseased or something?" called Leon. "You're walking, like, a million paces behind us."

Sora looked away from Riku and grinned. They rushed ahead to catch up.

-----0-----

Leon opened the door and allowed Cloud, Sora, and Riku into the house. Cloud stood to the side of the staircase in the foyer as Leon closed the door.

"I set up the guest room for you both while you're here," said Leon. "If you want, I can show you there so you can unpack and everything. When you're done, just come on downstairs. We'll go out for food or something. Show you the town. We've got a great club here. You can show off some of your frat party dance moves, Sora."

Riku barked a laugh. He twisted his arms around Sora's waist. Cloud resisted the urge to bite off his own tongue.

"Now that I'd love to see," said Riku.

Sora turned red and directed his face toward the ground. Cloud wanted to strangle the little brat. Curse him for acting all embarrassed. While this may have been cute to Leon and Riku, Cloud saw right through his little act. Boyfriend-stealing little cheat.

"Cloud, I'll be right back down," said Leon.

He gave Cloud a nod, grabbed one of Sora's bags, and disappeared upstairs. Sora followed. Riku paused, his eyes meeting Cloud's.

"I didn't tell him," said Riku.

"I surmised when he didn't say anything about me considering I don't have the most common name."

"So you're dating Leon now?"

"And you've got everything you ever wanted."

"I didn't know you were interested in Leon."

"We've been fucking for years. It was bound to turn into something eventually."

Riku frowned. He laid a hand on the banister and stepped up on the first step.

"I'll tell Sora."

"No need. It's over. Don't ruin your first trip together with back-story like that. Especially when it's unimportant."

"You told Leon, didn't you?"

"I told him back at Christmas."

Riku nodded.

"Don't worry," said Cloud. "He's not the jealous type. Leon is more than self-assured about his stunning good looks. You should head upstairs, though. Don't want Sora wondering what happened to you."

"Guess not."

Cloud sighed. Hesitation still swam behind Riku's eyes.

"Don't worry, okay? I won't say anything to Sora. I know how much you care about him; I won't do anything to ruin this for you."

Riku bit his lip and nodded. Leon appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Everything okay?" said Leon.

"Yeah," said Riku. He turned back to Cloud. "I'm sorry about this. I just . . . If I'd have known . . ."

"Hey, you know how things go. Shit happens." Cloud shrugged. "I'm not worried about it. Now go."

Riku nodded and disappeared up the stairs. Leon pointed down the hall, waited a few seconds, and walked down the staircase. Cloud didn't wait for him, turned, and collapsed on the sofa. He buried his face in his hands and directed it toward the ground. Leon's weight dropped next to him as Cloud groaned.

"It's the same Riku, right?"

"Yes. That's Riku."

"From the way you go on about him, I though he'd be better-looking."

Cloud started, turned, and gazed at Leon, eyes wide.

"He's gorgeous. Are you blind?"

"No. I just . . . ordinarily . . . but you make him sound unearthly. He's pretty normal. Average."

"Oh, what do you know? You like Sora. May as well give up, though. He's the same boyfriend-stealing Sora that has destroyed my life. I doubt he's going to give up on Riku any time soon."

Leon snorted.

"Oh, please. Riku may be obsessed with Sora, but Sora was eyeing me all year. I never once heard him mooning over his best friend, okay? Not to mention that he was still going crazy over me while we were upstairs just now. Hey, you know what? Maybe you'll get lucky and when Sora realizes I am the center of his sexual universe, Riku will come crawling back to you."

"Yeah, that's just what I want. Sora's leftovers. You always know how to cheer me up, Leon. You really do."

"Get a grip on yourself. You only have eyes for me. By the end of this vacation we're going to have that ex-boyfriend of yours realizing how much he loves you, wishing he never gave you up, and cursing all guys named Leon as boyfriend-stealers, you hear me? We are going to make him hate me. More than hate. Loathe. He's going to loathe my existence."

"If he loathes you, it's only going to be because you stole Sora."

"No, that comes later. After he realizes that he's madly in love with you and I've taken his opportunity to get back with you from him. I mean it, Cloud. Then when I catch Sora's eye, he's going to hate me even more because now I'm taking Sora—the next best thing to you."

"I wish I could agree with you on this, but it's pretty hopeless."

"Hopeless? Cloud, look at me. I am drool."

"I know you are, but that doesn't mean Sora's going to fall in love with you. Not if he's in love with Riku. I'm not in love with you."

"But you can't deny my raw, sexual attraction."

"I never could, Lee. How do you think I ended up sucking your cock in the first place?"

Leon laughed.

"Yeah, I never even really had to ask."

"So how are we going to make Riku hate you again?"

"Rule number one: No moping. You're so over Riku. He doesn't even exist to you anymore. Got it?"

Cloud hung his head and nodded.

"Second, I need you to remember that we have the home-field advantage. This is our hometown. We know the people, we know the hotspots, and we know how to work it around here. I am Squall Leonheart—dead sexy, untouchable, and most eligible bachelor. You are Cloud Strife—emo, gorgeous, and . . ."

"The kid who went nowhere fast because his dad died, mother got depressed, and had to pick up the pieces."

"People don't look down on you for that. You were a good kid. Model student, great athlete, and . . ."

"Moody as all fuck?"

"Look, you have to give this self-pity a break or you're never going to convince Riku. We've just got to play our cards right. We're going to go for lunch first. Show them around Hollow Bastion after. We'll go to the club tonight, and you and I are going to be positively revolting. We're going to dance. We're going to grind. We are going to make out on the dance floor, damnit, and you're going to be so hot for me you won't even remember Riku's name."

Leon leaned forward. He gripped Cloud's shoulders, shoved him back against the armrest, and stretched his body across Cloud's. His head dipped, and he pressed the flesh on Cloud's neck gently between his teeth. Cloud's breath hitched as Leon worked his ministration up the expanse of skin toward his ear. Lips and tongue flicked in the hollow behind his ear and around the shell. Leon's breath was hot as it skirted over his moistened skin. Cloud squirmed.

"Do you accept the challenge?" said Leon.

"Oh, yeah."

"Yeah? Then knock it off, okay?" Leon's voice was low, husky, and Cloud squirmed all the more. "I know you're in love with this kid, but we can work this. You and me, Strife."

Cloud's head rolled back and his breath became labored as his eyelids closed.

"Okay."

"We'll meet up with Tifa and Aerith tomorrow. Maybe Yuffie, too. I'll let them know what's going on first so they can prepare for their roles."

"Tifa's a great liar."

Leon nodded. He rolled his hips against Cloud's.

"You're so fucking hot, Cloud. You don't have to stress out over this. Riku already knows how desirable you are. You just have to remind him."

Cloud nodded. He moved his body with Leon's, hips arching to connect with heat. Their slow rhythm began to quicken, and Leon smirked at the low timbre humming from Cloud's throat. The shots of pleasure coursing through his veins started to crescendo.

"Holy shit, Lee . . ."

"You can pretend to be hot for me, can't you?"

Cloud nodded again.

"It's not all pretend."

"Well, I may want Sora all to myself, but you ought to know how much I love fucking you. Sometimes a little lust goes a long way."

Cloud groaned.

"I think it's more than just a little."

"A lot, then."

Leon buried his face in the crook of Cloud's neck and moaned as their hips met, rolling faster with every thrust. Cloud slid one hand down Leon's body, clutching the curve of his ass. The other hand tangled in Leon's mane of chocolate brown hair. Leon gripped the armrest beside Cloud's head, bracing his body, as the other gripped Cloud's shoulder, pressing it harder into the sofa cushions.

A soft gasp broke the moment. Leon and Cloud glanced up.

"I'm sorry," said Sora. "I didn't . . . I mean . . . We can come back. Oh, God."

Sora's face was flaming red. Beside him, Riku appeared drained of all color. Leon smirked, pulled himself away from Cloud, and as he retracted, made sure to drag his palms along the length of Cloud's body. He shrugged as Cloud scrambled into a seated position.

"We got bored waiting," said Leon. "Sorry about that. I'm just going to stop in the bathroom before we get going."

Riku gaped at Leon as he disappeared up the stairs. He glanced to Cloud, who refused to meet his eyes. His attention turned to Sora.

"Is he always so . . . uh . . . open?"

Sora, face contorted and still crimson, nodded.

"He's very . . ."

Cloud made a little cough.

"Liberated," said Cloud.

Sora nodded.

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry about that, especially considering we've just met. Not the best first impression, huh?"

Sora chewed on his lower lip and shrugged.

"Hey, you know . . . well, it's not the first time I've seen Leon like that. Just . . ."

"He's kind of difficult to deny," said Cloud.

"I imagine."

Leon returned to the living room, leaned against the door frame, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So? Who's up for lunch?"

* * *

**_Continue please. Thanks._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Farce: An Experience In Idiocy  
**Author**: Page of Cups  
**Pairing**: Cloud Strife/Riku  
**Other Pairings**: Cloud/Leon, Riku/Sora, Leon/Sora  
**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating**: M  
**Theme**: #01 look over here

**Warning: There is some sexual content in this little story between two males. Just so you know.**

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I'm not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Riku was aware of Leon's eyes on him as he disappeared into the guest room and shut the door. Sora turned from where he stood at the bed and grinned before he flopped onto the mattress and giggled.

"What are you so happy about?" said Riku.

"Depends. What took you so long in getting up here?"

"I was talking to Cloud."

"You look depressed."

Riku shrugged.

"Your prospective boyfriend knows about me and Cloud. He was told over Christmas break."

"You should have told me, too, you know."

"I was scared of what you'd say. I already told you that's why I didn't say anything sooner."

"I still say that's stupid. We're best friends. It's not like you're any different because you're gay or anything."

"You wouldn't be as ready to say that if you weren't bisexual yourself."

Sora shrugged.

"I might have been a little uncomfortable at first because I wouldn't know what to say to you, and I'd be surprised cause it'd be something that I didn't know about you after all this time, but you wouldn't have stopped being my best friend. Kairi still likes you, and she isn't a lesbian."

"No, Kairi is a fruit fly. She thinks boys screwing boys is cute."

"So why do you look all depressed?"

"Cloud . . . I told him I didn't tell you, and he said not to because I wouldn't want to ruin our first trip together. He . . . He actually said that I shouldn't worry, because he wouldn't ruin this for me. That he knows how important you are to me. I brought up him dating Leon, but he didn't say anything about it. Just that I've got everything I've ever wanted." Riku sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "He doesn't even know I'm alive anymore."

"He knows you're alive. I mean, you did break up with him so maybe he's just trying to be cool about it so you don't know he's still upset or anything."

"Yeah, right. I wish."

"You never know."

"Cloud's more the moody, brooding type if you know what I mean. His name says it all. So why are you so happy?"

"I'm in Leon's house. And he smiled at me. And he squeezed my shoulder before he went to see what was keeping you."

Riku stared.

"Did you seriously say what I think you just said?"

"What? Why?"

Riku shook his head and laughed.

"You've got it so bad."

"Isn't he dreamy?"

"Dreamy?"

Sora nodded.

"Dreamy. And sexy. And hot in this ferocious kind of way. I want him to throw me down and abuse me."

Riku arched an eyebrow.

"You?"

Sora frowned.

"Yes, me. God, Riku, just because I like to play sweet and innocent doesn't mean that it's true." Riku stared. Sora's frown deepened. "Okay, so it _was_ true, but then I went to college. And frat parties. I get drunk, Ri. I've had sex with more than one person; you weren't my first. Just because I used to be all naïve doesn't mean I haven't figured things out by now, _and _that I can use the innocent angle to my advantage. It doesn't mean that I don't want Leon to throw me around a bit before he fucks my brains out and leaves me senseless."

Riku stared.

"My God, who _are_ you?"

"Same as I've always been, just way hornier. I could ask you the same question, though. I didn't think you were the type to get all moony over a guy. I had no idea you could be so vulnerable."

"Oh shut up."

"It's okay. I don't think any less of you."

"How kind of you."

"So tell me about Cloud."

"You were supposed to tell me about Leon."

"Leon's friends with Tifa, my roommate's girlfriend. He had this girlfriend, Rinoa, at the beginning of the year, but then they broke up, and I got all excited because I want Leon all to myself. I just got to, you know, get him to notice."

"Why haven't you just told him?"

"Have you looked at him? He's not very approachable in that way."

"So how did you meet?"

"He saved me. He was my hero."

"Oh, yeah?" said Riku. He smirked. "How's that?"

"I got all drunk at this frat party Reno dragged me to in the beginning of our first semester. I fell down a flight of stairs and puked on his shoes. Reno came to claim me, but Leon said I looked so hopeless he felt this uncontrollable, heroic urge to take me back to my room. That and Tifa made him."

"Reno's girlfriend, right? That's Tifa?"

"Yeah. She's tough. Doesn't take anyone's shit. And since Leon was the most sober one, she made him rescue me."

"That's a charming way to meet someone."

"I know, right? I was so embarrassed around him until long after Christmas. But I still took every opportunity to see him, and then Reno said something about me wanting him. And I thought about it for awhile before I realized that he was right. I want Leon. I want him so bad."

"So that's the whole bisexual story."

"Yeah. Can you blame me? I mean . . ."

"I know. Look at him. Cloud, unfortunately, seems to agree with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"They're dating. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

"He's not that good-looking, you know?"

"Are you blind?"

"I just don't see what's so impressive."

"You're just saying that because Cloud's attached at the hip to him."

Riku shrugged.

"It's not like that. I just don't think he's that spectacular. Pretty average if you ask me."

Sora snorted.

"Bullshit. Now tell me about Cloud."

"It's not bullshit."

"It is. Tell me about Cloud."

"Sora—"

"Riku. Tell me about Cloud. I will not listen to you insult Leon's drool-worthiness. It is a load of crap. I'm not retarded. The topic of our new discussion is you and this Cloud guy."

"He's just Cloud, okay? Not 'this Cloud guy.'"

"Whatever. Spill."

"He was my roommate at school."

"Yeah, you said that much already. What happened? You know, besides you dumping him for me and then realizing you're an idiot."

Riku shrugged.

"He couldn't stand me. Called me a rich, spoiled brat about three times a week, but I was attracted to him. And I kind of liked being called a rich, spoiled brat because . . . I don't know. I guess because you and Kairi are the only other people besides my family to ever . . . I don't know."

"Not worship you?"

"Something like that. I know I get arrogant, but Cloud wasn't putting up with it, and I liked that about him. He had no hesitation about putting me in my place, and he barely knew me. I got invited to a frat party—"

"They're great, aren't they?"

"I didn't really care for it, actually, but I apparently go so wasted that I staggered into the dorm, climbed into Cloud's bed, professed my supreme sexual attraction to him, whined about him hating me, and slept with him. I say 'apparently' because I was also so wasted that I don't remember this very well, and Cloud had to tell me all about it. We started dating. I got more comfortable with being queer. I don't know. He took me out a lot. We stayed in a lot. We had a lot of sex. I fell in love with him."

"So why did you break it off?"

"Because summer was coming. I was homesick. I missed you. I was ready to tell you about my sexual orientation, and I had this hope that . . . I still thought I had feelings for you, you know? I thought that Cloud was great, and I loved him, but it could never possibly compare to what I could have with you. So I broke it off on the glimmer of hope that you might return my feelings. But . . ."

"But dating sucks and we're better as friends?"

"As trite as it sounds . . . I mean it's only now that I realize everything I wanted to have with you . . ."

"You already had with him?"

"Yeah."

Sora snorted.

"Ri, don't stress out. If it was as great as you say it was, then there's no way he's over you."

"You're biased. You have to say that."

"No, I don't. How did he take the break up?"

Riku shrugged.

"It was a rather anticlimactic, melancholy kind of thing. I talked about you nonstop for the last half of second semester."

"You are an idiot. He's probably just dating Leon because he's given up hope on you, that's all. There's no way he's over you."

"Yeah, I wish."

"Seriously, don't stress. Don't worry about this. I'm gonna snag Leon away from him for you, okay? When that happens, you can, you know, be there for each other or something. Or you can just tell Cloud what you told me. Tell him that you aren't as upset as you thought you'd be or something because it wasn't after until we started dating that you realized everything you thought it'd be was what you already had. Do that."

Riku shook his head.

"It's too late for that."

"No, it's not. You're getting Cloud back and that's it. And I'm going to get Leon in the process. You heard what they said, right? We're going to a club tonight. We're gonna be all over each other, and you're going to make Cloud so jealous he can't even see straight. And I'm gonna look so hot that Leon will have to notice me. Now let's go get some lunch. I'm starving."

"How can you be so calm about this?"

Sora shrugged.

"We are the most awesome people I know. This can't be too hard."

"I'm glad one of us is confident about this."

"You used to be more confident than this."

"I get kind of weak when it comes to Cloud."

Sora smiled.

"It's gonna work out. Promise."

-----0-----

Riku was repulsed. Annoyed, repulsed, and devoid of hope. They were just supposed to meet Cloud and Leon in the living room before going to lunch, but Riku walked in on a scene more pornographic than he'd ever want to witness. Cloud beneath another man—another man who was more attractive than Riku could ever wish to be. To make matters worse, this other man had known Cloud since forever. They had the kind of friendship he had with Sora, but while his relationship felt weak and flat, Cloud and Leon seemed to have no problems making the transition between friends and lovers. Not if that display in the living room was any indication.

Riku growled. What kind of people behaved in public like that? Sure, it was in the privacy of Leon's own living room, but it may as well have been in public when they knew Riku and Sora wouldn't be long before returning downstairs. And how could Cloud act like that when they'd just broken up a month ago? Hadn't be spent the last nine or so months with Riku? He'd told Riku a thousand times that he loved him.

He was so stupid. Riku actually believed Sora when he said there was no way Cloud could be over him already. It made so much sense, but it seemed Cloud didn't mean all those things he said. He hadn't meant it when he called it love—hadn't felt the way he said when they made love or Cloud held him close. It really was over, gone. Cloud already found a replacement. A replacement that came with an amazing friendship, and just looking at Leon . . . Riku knew he didn't stand a chance.

It didn't end there. What could have been a nice, filling lunch instead prompted more thoughts of self-inflicted wounds. Riku stared across the table and watched the interaction between Cloud and Leon. There was a comfortable ease between them as they bantered and bickered. Casual touches passed between them. The angled toward each other in the booth and sat closer than 'just friends' might. They were the only inclinations that anything more went on between them; there were no pet names involved. It was enough, though, to drive Riku crazy.

Sora—keen on Riku's emotions as ever—tried to compensate. Riku was proud of him for the efforts. Just as Sora was keen on his feelings, Riku knew the interaction bugged Sora, but he only spared glances in their direction when speaking to them. Most of the time he kept his face turned to Riku. His sweet, adoring smile neither looked nor felt as forced as Riku knew it must be. He laughed at the appropriate moments, took the initiative to brush his hand against Riku's, and even placed a kiss on his cheek when he retreated to the bathroom.

Left alone at the table, Riku stared down. Leon broke the silence. Riku wanted to slit his throat with the butter knife.

"I've never seen Sora look so happy," said Leon. "Things must be really working out for you."

Riku shrugged.

"Well, you know, it's been a long time coming. I'm sure you understand."

Riku glanced up to meet Leon's eyes. From his peripheral vision, he saw Cloud regarding his expression. He tried not to meet his gaze, but being under Cloud's scrutiny like this was unbearable. Their eyes met for half a second before Riku looked away again. Cloud frowned.

"Yeah, well," said Cloud. "I'm glad you got what you were looking for."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. You, too."

That was the extent of the conversation. Riku's heart fell more. They had nothing to say to each other anymore. It was only a few months ago that their conversations could go on for hours about nothing. Cloud teased him the way he teased Leon now. Riku found himself envious of the attention Cloud bestowed upon this man, and he didn't care how long they were friends. He didn't care if he was the one that dumped Cloud, or if they thought he was in bliss with Sora. Leon knew about his history with Cloud. He'd have to be blind not to notice how very interested Sora was. They had no right to be flaunting like this.

When lunch ended, Cloud and Leon took Sora and Riku on a tour through Hollow Bastion. He got to see a lot of the places Cloud talked about while they were rooming together at school. They met Cid Highwind, Cloud and Leon's boss at the auto shop. At a small café where they stopped for coffee, Sora hid under the booth while Riku met the infamous Reno. Yuffie Kisaragi happened to be out shopping while they walked down a strip of small, local-owned stores. She bounced a lot, talked very fast, and commented almost immediately that it was good Riku and Sora came to visit. It was, apparently, impossible to get Cloud or Leon out of the house since their return from school.

"We've been busy," said Leon.

"Indoors?" said Yuffie. "What's there to do that's so fascinating in your house? Then again . . . Aerith did say . . ."

"Yeah."

She raised he eyebrows and looked between all four boys.

"I don't even want to know."

Neither did Riku.

They stopped for dinner. By this point, Riku feared he was green with envy. Literally. Because it sure felt like it was eating him from the inside out. Sora was tense as they held hands, and even Riku could feel his hopes crashing to the ground. Leon and Cloud were so interested in each other that it was pointless to even wish for a glimmer of faint hope. Though they weren't exactly ignored, it was uncomfortable to be in their environment with the people they knew, especially when neither Cloud nor Leon seemed as interested in anything as they were with each other.

Everything came to a swell at the club. While it seemed like it could be fun and a great opportunity to make Cloud stare as much as he was, it never happened. Cloud only had eyes for Leon, and Riku couldn't tear his eyes away if someone gouged them out of his head. To make matters worse, Sora handled the stress of the situation in more exaggerated means. Where Riku was content to glower and glare through brooding, Sora was drunk within the first thirty minutes. He dragged Riku onto the dance floor, pressed their bodies together, and swung his hips to the off-beat, complete putty in Riku's arms.

"I can see you've never partied with Sora before," said Leon over his shoulder.

Riku spun around, but had to turn back, and caught Sora before he hit the ground.

"Excuse me?" said Riku.

"Let me show you how it's done."

Leon nudged Riku aside and wrapped his arms around Sora's waist. Riku's blank stare darkened as Leon pulled Sora's hips to his. He smiled and angled Sora's face up.

"How you feeling?"

"Amazing," said Sora. "You gonna dance with me?"

"If that's what you want."

"Won't Cloud be jealous?"

Leon shrugged.

"Doubt it. He's got nothing to be jealous about."

Riku didn't wait to see any more of the display Leon now put on with Sora. He stomped back to their table, ordered a drink, and glared into the glass.

Who did Leon think he was? First the pornographic living room scene. Then there was the flaunting all day long. Now he not only had to nerve to practically have sex with Cloud on the dance floor (that kind of gyrating should be outlawed), but he actually had the audacity—the sheer _gall_—to take Sora from Riku like he couldn't handle his drunk best friend and proceed to perform the same ministrations. If he were still dating Sora, he'd be outraged. Incensed. So angry that Leon would be in danger of losing the parts of his anatomy he most treasured.

A few minutes passed as Riku contemplated the brighter sides of the marriage between castration and Squall Leonheart. Cloud slipped into the seat across him.

"Did Leon steal your boyfriend?" said Cloud.

Riku grunted.

"You could say that."

"You don't like him, do you?"

"Who?"

"Leon."

Riku shrugged.

"He's all right. Kind of . . . Well, he's kind of an asshole, but hey . . ."

Cloud snorted.

"Yeah. He gets like that. Likes to show off from time to time. Don't take it too seriously. He's not always so . . ."

"Horny?"

"Yeah. Really, though. He doesn't mean anything by it. He won't defile Sora."

"I'm not worried. Sora wouldn't do anything like that."

Cloud stared at his hands for a few moments and nodded.

"Things are really working out for you, huh?"

"Hm?"

"You two seem very close."

"Oh. Yeah. Well . . . you know . . ."

"Yeah."

"Leon seems crazy about you."

"Oh. Yeah. I don't know. It just sort of happened. We've always been . . ."

"Friends with benefits. I remember you telling me."

"Yeah. Well, he asked about you when I got back so I told him about the break up, and . . . you know . . . one thing led to another."

"I'm glad. I was worried that after we broke up you might hate me, but . . . you know . . ."

"Yeah. I mean, no, I don't hate you. We're still friends, right?"

Riku nodded.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

Yeah, right. They were never friends to begin with. Cloud hated him from the moment they met, and probably disliked him long after they started sleeping together. Riku wasn't sure when those feelings had turned around, but there was no way to separate the romance and the friendship they formed. Even if there was a way for Cloud, there wasn't one for Riku. With Cloud it was all or nothing, but he couldn't say that. Not now. He just had to make it to the end of their stay, and hopefully he'd never have to see Cloud again. If they were put together as roommates next year, Riku would just have to switch with someone.

It was times like these that Riku thought in cliché lines about turning back time and 'if only I'd known then what I know now.'

"I think we've got to get this one in bed," said Leon. He walked over to the table with Sora thrown over one shoulder. He regarded Cloud and Riku for a moment. "Unless you want to stay . . .? Cause I can get Sora back on my own . . ."

"No," said Riku. "I'll take care of him. Let's get out of here."

Unfortunately for Riku, he didn't notice the crestfallen transition that warped Cloud's impassive expression as he declined and stood or the sympathetic gaze Leon returned.

-----0-----

"Am I ugly?" said Cloud.

Leon patted his face dry as he turned to stare at his friend sitting on the bathtub rim.

"What?"

"Am I ugly?"

"No. Where is this coming from?"

"We've been flirty and obnoxious all day long and all Riku can do is pout because you were dancing with Sora. He told me he thinks you're an asshole."

"That's a start, right?"

"You stole Sora."

"So why do you think this makes you ugly?"

"I don't know."

"Riku is a fucking idiot."

"He isn't."

"He is. Didn't you notice how Sora's always smiling at him, falling all over him . . . ? If I were Riku, I'd be so fucking happy I'd just about shit myself, but he's always brooding. I swear he looks for things to be annoyed about."

"You danced with Sora with the intention of pissing him off. Remember?"

"I'm not just talking about the club. He was like that all day long. And he thinks I'm an asshole?"

"I think you just don't like him because he has Sora."

"Because he doesn't deserve Sora. Sora's amazing, and he doesn't act like he notices."

"What do you want him to do? Fall to his knees and worship the kid?"

"I don't know why you're getting so bitchy. You don't like Sora because he's got Riku. I think I warrant the right to dislike my prime competitor in love."

"I'm kind of in love with Riku. I'd like your support, please. He wasn't so moody with me. Maybe he just doesn't like sharing Sora's attention with you."

"He shouldn't take his insecurities out on me. It's not like he knows I'm trying to steal his boyfriend."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"Same as planned. I'm calling Aerith and Tifa for tomorrow. We'll meet here before going to lunch or something."

"What are you telling them?"

"Everything. They already know you're all heartbroken over Riku and I'm crazy about Sora; we just have to fill in the pieces. Yuffie was a great surprise today. I think Riku just about had a heart attack when she deduced we were holed up all that time fucking."

"We have been fucking the entire time we've been holed up."

"That's beside the point."

"Remind me why we're doing this instead of just telling them the truth?"

"Because they're dating. You don't want to look pathetic, Cloud. He broke up with you. If it were the other way around, it'd be really sweet of you to go running back to him, but he dumped you. And Sora's far too nice for his own good. Even if he wanted to break up with Riku for me, he'd never do it for fear of hurting him. We have to get them to do this on their own."

"I don't know, Lee. I feel like a cheap whore hanging all over you like this. And sneaky. I think we should just tell them."

"And have Riku think you're some kind of a stalker?"

"You think he'd think I was a stalker?"

"I would. And then I'd feel bad for you. You don't want that."

"He did say that he was worried I'd hate him."

"You see? Okay, I take back my earlier complaints. He's just being careful with Sora because he's afraid you're still heartbroken over him. I mean, you are, but that's not the point, either."

"When did you become so devious?"

Leon shrugged.

"People will do crazy things when it comes to matters of the heart."

"You're starting to intimidate me a little bit."

"Good."

"Good?"

"If I can intimidate you, then I can intimidate Riku."

"He's really a nice guy, Lee. Don't be so hard on him."

"I have to be hard on him if I'm going to crack him. I promised you that I'd have him hating me, didn't I? You're getting your boyfriend back, and I'm going to steal his in the process if it's the only thing I accomplish this summer."

"You determination is both impressive and disturbing."

Leon pushed Cloud's hair back away from his forehead, let his palm trail the back of Cloud's head, and completed the path along his jaw line.

"One of us has to remain positive."

-----0-----

"You're such a brat."

"Like I can actually convince anyone I'm over twenty-one."

"I really believed you were drunk."

"I know. It was funny."

"You're such a brat."

Riku stared at the ceiling through the dark. In the bed beside him, Sora shifted and turned his face to Riku.

"He was all over me."

"He's a slut. He was all over everyone."

"No, he wasn't. Don't call him that. He's a really nice guy."

"Yeah, I bet."

"He is. You just don't really know him. He is a little over the top, I guess, but I like that about him. You'd like him, too, if he wasn't dating Cloud. You'd probably get along really well, but he's been . . . well, a little enraptured . . ."

"With Cloud."

"Yeah. But I think I made a little progress tonight. He noticed I was drunk and you had no idea what to do. That means he was watching me more than he let on." Sora's voice trailed off, and the corners of his lips turned up. "He carried me."

"You're sick."

"Come on. Don't be so miserable."

"How am I not supposed to be? Cloud is so into Leon it's revolting. He's over me. He . . ."

Sora groaned and buried his face into the pillow.

"How am I supposed to enjoy my accomplishments if you're so miserable?"

Riku sighed.

"I'm sorry. It's just . . ."

"If you really think it's that hopeless, then maybe you need to start letting go."

"I messed this up so bad."

"It's just one mistake."

"That I can't fix."

"You're impossible."

"Sora . . ."

"Who cares if Cloud is over you? If he is, then it wasn't meant to be. And for all you know this thing with Leon is his way of trying to get over you. You need to stop being so insecure about it. If it's over, it's over, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Riku huffed and rolled away from Sora.

"You going to sleep?" said Sora.

"I was planning on it."

"Goodnight."

"Yeah. Night."

* * *

**_Yeah. Keep going. It's all there._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Farce: An Experience In Idiocy  
**Author**: Page of Cups  
**Pairing**: Cloud Strife/Riku  
**Other Pairings**: Cloud/Leon, Riku/Sora, Leon/Sora  
**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating**: R  
**Theme**: #19 red

**Warning: There is some sexual content in this little story between two males. Just so you know.**

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I'm not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

If Riku thought he felt excluded and ignored by Leon and Cloud the day before, it was nothing compared to the second day in Hollow Bastion. Sora fell into the loop with ease when they staggered down for breakfast, awoken by the sounds of shouts and the smell of smoke. Leon fidgeted with the fire extinguisher as Cloud filled a large cup with water.

"It's an electrical fire, moron," said Leon through the smoke.

"Is water bad for that?" said Cloud.

Sora—still dressed in his bed clothes—snorted.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that water and electricity don't go together? This is why I don't let you cook. I should have known not to trust you with the toaster."

"It's not my fault the bread got caught, okay? Your family needs a less hazardous toaster."

"I can't wait to explain this to my father. 'Yeah, Cloud tried to help make breakfast, but even toasted bread is too much for him.' He's going to love that."

"Laguna is a dick. I don't really care what he thinks."

A few moments later the fire extinguisher spouted across the offending appliance. Riku and Sora sputtered at the new fumes that filled the air. Leon yanked open the door to the patio to allow the kitchen some airing out.

"I take it we aren't having breakfast this morning," said Sora.

Leon's head jerked around and the amusing, pleasant person Riku just witnessed vanished. The arrogant, cocky smirk was back in place.

"When did you get down here?"

"Somewhere around water and electricity."

Cloud's eyes widened for a split second. He dumped the water back into the sink and made a move to hide the cup. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Cloud isn't the most talented guy in the kitchen so breakfast here is out, but we can go to McDonald's or something."

Cloud frowned and glared at Leon.

"We could go over to Aerith's. You were talking about getting together with her today, anyway."

Leon met Cloud's eyes. They said nothing, but Riku knew these kinds of looks. These were the kinds that held entire conversations without words. The jealousy that ebbed through sleep returned with a vengeance.

"We get to meet Aerith?" said Sora.

Leon nodded.

"Yeah. Why? You seem excited."

"Well everyone talked about her at school so much that . . ." Sora blushed. "I don't know. It's kind of like meeting a celebrity."

Leon smiled; Cloud laughed.

"Oh, Aerith's going to love that. I want to be the one to tell her."

"Whatever you like, Strife," said Leon. He passed Cloud to grab the phone off the counter, and as he did, he squeezed Cloud's side. "I'll just give her a call since we're all in agreement, then."

"I didn't agree," said Riku. Sora elbowed him in the ribs. Leon exchanged glances with Cloud. "Not that I'm opposed or anything. I just . . . I didn't agree, and you said that we all did."

"Riku . . ." said Sora.

"No, it's okay," said Leon. "I didn't mean to exclude you. Did you have another idea?"

"No. I just . . . I don't care. Whatever."

Leon smirked. He eyed Riku. Riku didn't hesitate to return the hint of a glare.

"I want you to know that you stole my line."

Cloud snorted. Riku's glared darkened as it turned to Cloud.

"I'm sorry," said Cloud. "It just . . . yeah. Leon's notorious around here for answering questions with 'Whatever.'"

'I see," said Riku.

"Am I calling Aerith?" said Leon.

"Yeah," said Cloud. "May as well call Tifa, too. We'll meet over there."

"Is that okay with you, Riku?"

Riku's eyes smoldered as he turned his attention to Leon. Sora offered Leon a weak smile. Cloud gave a small cough.

"Yeah," said Riku. "Sure."

-----0-----

Tifa Lockhart and Aerith Gainsborough. These girls were two people Riku had heard a lot about while attending Mitsuki with Cloud. Beside Leon, they were the closest friends Cloud had—close enough that he considered them family. If he and Cloud were still together, his heart would be racing at the anxiety upon meeting them both, but he and Cloud weren't together anymore. It was probably a good thing. His coexistence with Leon was turning out to be nothing short of a disaster, and Cloud told him repeatedly that he was sure they'd get along.

Aerith was nothing like he expected. From the way Cloud described her, she sounded very sweet if not a bit plain, meek, but Aerith was actually very pretty. She was soft-spoken, but she didn't hesitate to scold both Leon and Cloud before they made it into the kitchen. Riku made a note not to get on her bad side, because the look she gave Cloud for avoiding her the past month was only slightly short of terrifying.

"And you haven't been much better," she said, and poked Leon in the chest.

"I've called," said Leon. His arrogance dropped as he threw his hands into the air. "I'm not avoiding you; I've been dealing with him."

Sora frowned as his eyes narrowed; Riku stared at his feet.

"Well we all know how Cloud is," said another voice as a busty brunette walked into the room.

Riku assumed that this must be Tifa Lockhart. He'd heard a lot about her from Cloud and now Sora. The feeling of an outsider became even more apparent when Tifa squealed upon seeing Sora and wrapped him into a hug. She released him, gave a soft punch to his arm, and stepped back.

"How have you been?"

Sora regained his balance and smiled.

"Great. You?"

"Same as always."

"We saw Reno yesterday," said Leon. "Said you're still together."

"Yeah."

"It takes a special kind of person to deal with Reno," said Sora. "I'm impressed."

"There's nothing impressive about it," said Cloud. "Tifa is either very insane or very stupid."

"Oh, you can just shut your mouth. Now what is this I hear about you and Leon?" Cloud and Leon exchanged glances. "What? Aerith says no one's seen or heard from you because you've been hiding in Leon's bed. At least that's what I hear because neither one of you will return my phone calls."

"I haven't been home in two weeks."

Tifa wriggled her eyebrows.

"Really? And what does your mother think about this?"

Cloud shrugged.

"I don't know. I haven't asked."

"It's not my fault," said Leon, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "I can't get rid of him. I keep trying to get him to get out of bed or out of the house, but he refuses to move. I'm glad Sora came to visit. Meant he had to put on clean clothes."

"Oh, shut up," said Cloud.

"What? You were starting to smell really bad."

"Fuck off."

"Well, I had a feeling you couldn't be having sex the whole time," said Tifa. "You're both entirely too lazy for that. But what's with this rumor? Truth to it?"

Leon smirked.

"What do you think?"

"I always had a feeling you'd end up together," said Aerith. "There was always something between you."

"Yeah," said Tifa. "We were just waiting for you to realize it. I was getting sick of all the 'it's just sex' excuses. So since you're together now and all, I guess that means you and your boyfriend broke up."

"Oh, yeah," said Aerith. "What did happen with that?"

Riku's head perked up. Sora widened his eyes. They looked up at the girls and then down to Cloud.

"Your boyfriend?" said Sora.

"Yeah," said Tifa. "Some guy he was seeing at school, right? The one you were _so_ _in love_ with."

Sora raised his eyebrows, the hint of a smile on his lips. Cloud pressed his mouth into a thin line. He nodded.

"Yeah. We broke up."

"More like Cloud got his sorry ass dumped," said Leon.

"How?" said Aerith. "Everything was going great last I heard."

"Yeah," said Tifa. "He broke up with you? I thought he was crazy about you?"

"And then it drove him crazy," said Leon. "Big difference."

Cloud swallowed. He gave Tifa an irritated sort of look.

"I thought so, too. I was, apparently, very wrong."

"He was crazy over his best friend instead," said Leon.

"So he broke up with you?" said Tifa.

"Yeah."

"What a moron."

Leon snickered.

"That's what I said. Not that it comes as much of a surprise. Or matters much. He was a spoiled, self-obsessed little pretty boy, anyway."

"He's a fucking idiot to let you go."

Cloud shrugged.

"I guess I just wasn't what he was looking for."

"Oh, please. You? Now, really, are you okay? When you were here at Christmas, you sounded like you'd found your soul mate."

"Well, you know, it sucked at first, but I've moved on."

"So what happened then? The best friend thing got you thinking?"

"You could say that," said Leon. "He moped around for a few days. Called the best friend an evil boyfriend-stealer about five million times. And then . . ."

"And then . . ." said Cloud.

"And then . . .?" said Tifa. She leaned forward, broad smile lighting up her face.

"Well, you know, he never could resist me," said Leon.

"I resisted you over Christmas just fine," said Cloud.

"Yeah, and look how that ended up for you."

"I'm really happy for you both," said Aerith. "I'm just glad you've finally come to this conclusion. It was only a matter of time."

Leon smirked; Cloud's lips formed a weak smile. Leon's arm wrapped around Cloud's back and pinched his upper arm.

"Yeah," said Cloud. "I'm really happy."

"It's about time," said Tifa.

Riku had never felt so much anger boil through his veins at one time. Maybe Tifa and Aerith didn't know, but Cloud and Leon . . . Cloud he could forgive. Cloud was cornered, unable to skirt about the situation, and he'd really been as polite as possible considering the circumstances. He looked properly ashamed and uncomfortable discussing their relationship this way. Cloud didn't think Sora knew, and he was trying to be fair by keeping it quiet, but Leon . . . Leon, the bastard, knew all about their relationship. He knew it was Riku they were talking about, knew Riku was sitting right there and hearing it all.

Some people talk about seeing things through rose-colored glasses. Riku's vision was tainted in blood red.

For not the first time, Riku couldn't help but wonder just where Leon got off running his mouth like this? And what made him so goddamn special that he didn't think there would be consequences? Just who did this bastard think he was?

There was one comfort in the conversation. Cloud hadn't been lying about his feelings. Tifa and Aerith both made it sound like Cloud said nothing but good things about him over Christmas break. He had sulked at the beginning of the summer. Maybe all wasn't lost.

Riku tried to be fair. Maybe when they broke up or before they started dating, Cloud had ranted to no end about Riku; they hadn't gotten along at first. If he actually hurt Cloud at the time of the break up, perhaps Leon warranted a right to dislike Riku, especially if he was the one dealing with the broken heart. Especially if he liked Cloud as much as his sexual displays indicated. That still didn't give him a right to say those things in Riku's presence.

What was it that he'd called Riku? A spoiled, self-obsessed little pretty boy?

By extension—though he didn't blame them for the comments—he was growing annoyed with Tifa and Aerith. They could say whatever they wanted about Riku; they were Cloud's friends and entitled to trash talk the ex-boyfriend they didn't know. What really irked him were the positive comments about Leon, the sadistic fucker that he was. Didn't they know he was a waste of human flesh and oxygen?

Then there was Sora, who the conversation had turned to as Riku fumed. Tifa asked him questions about his summer thus far, but they went in and out of Riku's registration. Sora liked Leon so much, and Riku wanted to support him, but this hatred of Leon extended far past jealousy that he had Cloud. He was frustrated. How could Cloud be so great when his best friend (and now boyfriend, too, he supposed) was such a demon? Why would Sora like this disgusting waste of a person? Why would anyone—much less someone as sweet and kind-hearted as Aerith—say anything positive about this revolting display of God Gone Wrong?

Riku wanted to stick his fork straight through Leon's jugular.

"Uh, Riku?" said Sora, nudging his arm. Riku glanced up.

"Huh?"

"Tifa was talking to you."

"Oh. Uh . . . What was the question?"

Leon snickered. Tifa glared at him for a second before returning her attention to Riku.

"I was just saying that it's nice to finally meet you," said Tifa. "Sora's told us so many great things about you. I am surprised to see you together like this, though. Sora never gave an inclination there was something romantic between you."

Riku rescinded his earlier observation. Tifa was out to get him.

"Well, you know, I never really considered it before," said Sora. "Not cause of Riku, you know . . . I just . . . You know I had no idea I even liked guys until recently. Once we saw each other again, though, the pieces just kind of fell into place."

Tifa smiled.

"That's sweet." She turned to Riku. "I guess you had to put all the moves on him, then."

Riku laughed.

"Yeah. He can be kind of oblivious, but that's part of his charm."

Sora grinned.

"So how long are you staying?" asked Aerith.

"A week," said Sora. "We just got here yesterday, so a few more days. Then it's back to Destiny Islands. We can't stay away from there too long."

"No," said Riku. "Kairi would kill us. If only for leaving her with Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus."

"I like Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus."

"I do, too, but Kairi needs us. We're the normal ones."

"That concerns me," said Leon.

Riku glared. Sora laughed.

"Yeah, I know, right?" said Sora. Riku shook his head.

"Any chance we can persuade you to stay longer?" said Leon. "If we show you a really good time, that is."

"I don't know," said Sora. "Kairi really might just kill us, but you could visit. I know she wants to meet you. I told her a lot about you when I got back from school. And then we can go to the beach. We could go surfing!"

"Surfing? I didn't take either one of you as the beach bum, surfing type."

"Riku's really good, but he doesn't like it as much as I do. He'd rather sit on his tree and beat the crap out of Tidus."

"I like beating the crap out of Tidus," said Riku. "He asks me for it."

"I bet," said Leon.

"He does," said Sora. "He's always trying to get better than Riku, so he's always begging him to spar and not go easy on him. He worships Riku."

"He used to, but he's kind of grown out of that," said Riku. "Now he just wants to beat me."

"Maybe we will come visit you," said Leon. "And then you and I can go at it, Riku. One on one."

Riku arched an eyebrow.

"Is that a challenge?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"Okay. You're on."

Leon nodded. He smiled that easy-going smirk that made Riku want to slit his throat.

-----0-----

"He's going to murder you," said Cloud.

"I know," said Leon, laughing. "I'm just not sure yet why he hates me so much."

"It could have been all the trash talk."

"But where is the underlying issue? Is it you or Sora? I can't tell yet."

Cloud and Leon stood in Leon's bedroom. Leon dug around through the dresser drawers, searching for a pair of swimming trunks. They stayed at Aerith's for breakfast and lunch, but talk of Destiny Islands prompted Sora to whine about missing the beach, so Leon offered the next best thing. Ten minutes later they were back at the Leonheart residence preparing for a trip over to the Strife house for a swim.

"You don't think your mom's going to care, do you?"

"Nah," said Cloud. "My mom loves when people use the pool. It was Dad's thing, you know? I'm just glad I got it ready before they came to visit or we'd be shit out of luck."

"I'm surprised you accomplished anything before hiding in my room to brood."

"I had to do something for my mom before I took off. She got it started, anyway. I just made sure it was safe for humans."

"Will she be there?"

"Who? My mom?"

"Yeah."

"Don't know. Why?"

"Does she know about Riku?"

"I told her all about him at Christmas break. She was really happy for me."

"Yeah, but does she know that you broke up? Does she know why? Because if she says anything and ruins the plan, it's going to make things a little difficult."

"I wouldn't worry about that. The plan is kind of self-destructing on its own."

"No, it's not. It's going perfectly."

"Sora hasn't looked in your direction because he's too wrapped up in Riku. Riku is harboring a deep desire to plant an iron in your face. How is it going perfectly?"

"Because pissing Riku off was the point. He's supposed to realize what an idiot he was to give you up by seeing how great you are, remembering why he liked you in the first place, and hating me for not being good enough for you. I've already got him ticked off; now I just have to move in on Sora."

"So what's the point of that again? Other than pissing him off more, of course, and your desire to take Sora as your own."

"Make him hate me for not being good enough for you. If he cared about you as much as he said he did, he'll be so angry at me for making moves on his boyfriend while I'm dating you. That's when he comes to your rescue by breaking us up and stealing you back."

"Your plan is starting to sound really weak, Lee."

"It's not."

"It is. He doesn't hate you because he thinks we're together; he hates you because you're trash-talking him right in front of his face."

Leon shrugged.

"I know what I'm doing, okay? Just keep playing along. Riku will be with you again by the end of the week. I assure you."

"He's in love with Sora. This is stupid. I'm just going to tell him the truth."

"You can't. Do that and you ruin everything. He's just going to feel sorry for you at this point and be pissed off that you tried to trick him. Don't throw this away."

"This is getting twisted. Even for you."

"What can I say? I'm crazy about Sora."

"You and Riku both."

"Come on. Stop being so depressing. We're going to go swimming and have a good time."

"Go a little easier on Riku, okay?"

Leon sighed.

-----0-----

Sora felt torn as he dug through his suitcase. Riku disappeared into the bathroom several minutes ago, leaving Sora to his own thoughts as he dressed into his swimming trunks. On one hand, Riku was miserable. He couldn't disagree that Leon and Cloud seemed so involved in each other that there was little hope, but Sora had just spent two semesters with Leon. He felt he had a fair enough grasp on the kind of person that Leon was to say he wasn't acting like himself. Sure, he had the same promiscuity, the same laid-back, casual, no bullshit attitude, but he was acting a little too arrogant. He was a little too into Cloud. The smirk was a little too devious. He was, in general, a little too excessive all-together.

Riku wanted out of here. Sora could tell that much from his closed-off expression and the hollow timbre in his voice. Hope escaped him, and it had only been two days. The conversation at Aerith's was a little much for even Sora. He understood that Aerith and Tifa might not have known they were talking about Riku. He knew that Leon and Cloud both thought Sora was uninformed about the part Riku played in the story. It didn't change that he knew Leon was aware, and that Leon was more than unkind in his words.

If Sora didn't know better, he'd think Leon was trying to goad Riku on purpose. Something was off. Leon could be a little self-involved, but he wasn't malicious. What would the point of that be, though? Why would he intentionally want to provoke Riku?

Maybe it was Cloud. Maybe his heart was broken more than he let on, and Leon disliked Riku for the fact. Even that seemed wrong, however. The Leon Sora knew would have just ignored it, or taken Riku aside and let his opinions known. He wouldn't throw around insults like he had back at Aerith's. He wouldn't have challenged Riku to an outright fight.

Then there was this so-called relationship. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Sora was beginning to think it was all a ruse. Aerith, Tifa, and Yuffie all mentioned Cloud's retreat into hiding, but when questioned about it, Leon said he wouldn't get out of bed. That he was –Sora chuckled—starting to smell. That their visit was a relief because it got Cloud out of the house. Leon said Cloud moped after he returned home and had called the best friend—Sora himself—an evil boyfriend-stealer.

Sora considered bringing these things up to Riku, but he couldn't find a point to even try. Riku was set and determined that Cloud was all about Leon, Leon was all about Cloud, and they needed to return to Destiny Islands as soon as possible. Sora wasn't entirely convinced, and if what he was thinking was true . . . Well, Riku might not have as much to brood about as he thought.

Why would Leon go along with it, though? Where was his motivation? Sora learned back in September that Leon didn't do anything without motivation.

"You almost ready?" said Riku, poking his head into the room.

Sora smiled and ruffled his hair.

"As ready as I'm going to get. Cloud and Leon ready yet?"

"They're waiting downstairs."

"Let's go, then."

-----0-----

Red. There was no other word to describe Riku's emotions, Riku's hostility, as his eyes bored into Leon's. Sora sighed.

The walk to Cloud's house was somewhat amiable between the four, but that underlying tension and hostility never really dissipated. What was supposed to be a fun vacation to get Riku's mind off Cloud turned into an attempt to win Cloud back. While that would have been well and good, that turned into a glare-fest full of insults between Sora's aforementioned best friend and prime love interest.

His intentions once they arrived at Cloud's were to watch the interactions and exchanges between all three parties concerned until he reached a decisive conclusion. This was proving to be more difficult than Sora previously anticipated. He was reminded of why he was always so terrible at sciences. Observation had never been one of his strong points.

A friendly splash in the pool turned into a heated water volleyball game. After Leon's third spike to land on Riku's face, Sora feared for both their lives—Leon's and Cloud's that was. The tension and sheer heat radiating from Riku's eyes bordered on an insanity potentially capable of first-degree murder. Cloud looked ready to slip underwater and not surface for air. Leon, on the other hand, seemed quite pleased with himself.

"Would you knock that off?" said Riku.

"It's just a game," said Leon. "Chill out. I can't help that you're losing."

"You almost broke my nose that time."

"Like I said, it isn't my fault you can't return a serve."

"Oh my God," said Cloud. He covered his face with his hand. Neither Leon nor Riku seemed to notice.

"I could return the serve if you weren't aiming for my face."

"I'm not aiming for your face. You're paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid; you're tying to break my face."

"A little vain, aren't we?"

"Never use the word 'we' as a pronoun for you and I."

"Thanks for the grammar lesson, kid. What is your problem? I'm just playing the game."

"My problem is that you're out to get me."

"I'm not out to get you. What do I got to do? Spell it out for you?"

"Can we just play the game and not murder each other?" said Cloud.

Leon and Riku both turned their attention to him as if they'd just noticed his presence. Riku blinked. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I gotta piss. Be back."

He floated over to the pool's side and hoisted his body out of the water. Sora bit his lip, Riku forgotten for a moment as he stared at the exposed, wet, tanned skin glistening in the sun. He turned away, shook his head, and tried to focus. He had a mystery to uncover. That's what he was supposed to be doing. The sight of Riku's eyes boring into the back of Leon's head met his gaze, and then the glare turned to Sora.

"You were ogling him," said Riku in a whisper so soft Sora hardly heard it. Not that it would matter if he hadn't. The fire in Riku's eyes said it all.

Sora frowned.

"I gotta use the bathroom, too. I'll be back."

Riku rolled his eyes as Sora walked up the steps out of the pool and up the deck to the sliding doors. He grabbed his towel from the deck banister, dried off for a few seconds, and went inside. The lack of sunlight in the darkened house made Sora blink a few times as his vision adjusted to the change in lighting before he continued through the kitchen. One turn around the corner, Sora took a few steps down the hall and leaned against the wall outside the bathroom door.

As he waited for Leon to emerge, Sora's eyes roved the walls where pictures of Cloud throughout the years were displayed. Sora smiled as one of Cloud and Leon around the age of ten caught his attention. Leon had been the most adorable little prepubescent. It was no wonder he'd grown up to be so unearthly gorgeous. It was already there in the thick, wavy, chocolate-brown locks and his dark, mischievous eyes. As he pondered what kind of terror Leon must have been back there, the door opened and Leon walked out.

"Hey," said Leon. "You need to use the bathroom?"

"I told them I did, but not really. I want to talk to you."

Leon smiled, crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned against the doorway.

"What's up?"

"I think I should be asking you that. What's going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid. Everyone knows that's my MO."

"No, really. What are you talking about?"

"What's really going on with you and Cloud? Why are you purposefully pissing Riku off? You are aiming for his face. I know you are."

Leon laughed. Sora couldn't help but smile.

"Okay, you caught me. Maybe a little. But he's overreacting. I didn't almost break his nose."

"Maybe not, but why? What's going on?"

"I can't tell you that. It's a secret."

"Is it about Cloud and Riku?"

Leon raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?"

"Cloud and Riku. I know you know. And if you guys seriously thought my best friend wouldn't tell me about it then you've mistaken how close we are."

"Riku told you?"

"The second we stepped off the bus. That's why we were lagging behind. He didn't tell me before because he was trying to date me, but yeah. As soon as he saw Cloud it all spilled out. So is it?"

"About Cloud and Riku?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe."

"Come on. You've been acting really weird ever since we got here. I know I haven't known you as long as your other friends, but I know you. You're pissing Riku off on purpose and I want to know why."

"What makes you say I'm doing it on purpose? Maybe your friend is just easily irritated."

"Because it makes you smile when you do it," said Sora, laughing. "And then you start acting normal when Riku's out of the room, but as soon as he comes back you're at it again. I mean, really. First you flaunt Cloud in the living room. Then you steal me at the club. You were horrible this morning at breakfast, and now you're aiming for his face. His feelings are really hurt."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I just wondered if it was because you're dating Cloud now and Riku dumped him or if . . . you know . . . maybe it was something else."

"Something else."

Sora nodded.

"That's what I thought. I just can't figure out what."

"That's what you thought?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised at your powers of observation. Do you have any theories?"

"One, but it's not really fleshed out yet, and it's wholly unbelievable, only . . ."

"Only . . ."

"I know you. You aren't acting right."

"Tell me your theory and I'll tell you if you're right."

Sora paused and brought a hand to scratch at the back of his head. His eyes fell to the floor.

"I think . . . I think you're not really dating Cloud. I think you're covering for him."

"Why do you say that?"

"Just little things. You're a little too attentive. He's a little too uncomfortable with it. Then the comments at breakfast about Cloud moping and him being really happy over Christmas about Riku. I think . . . I think he's not over Riku, and when he showed up here with me . . ."

"You think Cloud is still really heartbroken over Riku so I'm helping him pretend he's moved on so as not to show Riku how he really feels."

Sora nodded.

"Yeah. That's what I think."

Leon shrugged.

"Okay. I admit it. You're good."

Sora blinked. He raised his head.

"Really? That's it?"

Leon laughed.

"Yeah. That's it. We aren't dating. We never were. As much as I adore Cloud, we could never date. We tried to once, but it didn't even last three hours. He and I have great chemistry, but it's never amounted to more than lust."

"So he's still really hung up on Riku?"

"Yeah, but don't let Riku know. I'd hate for Cloud to feel exposed like that. It's bad enough that you know."

"But Riku's still hung up on him."

Leon's eyes widened for a fraction of a second. He blinked. Sora chuckled.

"Come again?"

"Riku and I aren't dating. We were, but it was kind of—flat, shall we say? We broke up when we got here. Right after he told me about Cloud. Said something along the lines that it was only after he and I started dating that he realized everything he wanted with me he'd already had with Cloud. He's in love with him. We just pretended to still be together because you and Cloud seemed so happy that Riku didn't want to show any remorse and we wanted to make him jealous."

Leon shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"It fucking figures. So you're single again, huh?"

Sora smirked.

"Yeah. You, too?"

"I was never taken."

"You want me."

Leon smirked.

"That's awfully ballsy of you to say."

"It's true."

"You got any proof for that, or are you stabbing in the dark again?"

"You would have never gone along with this or tortured Riku so badly if you were just trying to cover for Cloud. There would have been no reason to steal me last night. I think you were trying to make me jealous, too."

"Now why would you say that? Because you know me?"

"Yeah, there's that. There's also the fact that I wanted to come here in the first place because I want to see you, and I was so willing to help Riku in the hopes I might make you jealous in the process."

"Is that right?"

"That's exactly right. I have a confession."

"What's that?"

"I wasn't drunk last night."

Leon's smirk widened. He took a few steps forward, looming over Sora for a second before his hand titled the shorter boy's face up to his. His breath ghosted over his mouth before their lips met.

"You're sneakier than I took you for," said Leon in a whisper. "I underestimated you."

"I like to lay low on the radar."

"I do want you."

"I know. I want you, too."

"You've wanted me since you puked on my shoes."

"You caught me."

"I've wanted you since then, too."

"So why didn't you just tell me instead of all this?"

"I wanted you to come to me. Make me feel more seducing and less like a predator. It's more fun that way."

"So what do we do now?"

"I'm going to teach you a few things about the birds and the bees."

"I meant about Cloud and Riku. You remember them? Our fake boyfriends?"

Leon chuckled.

"Depends on how devious you're feeling."

"What's your proposition?"

"The most obvious solution is that we just tell them, but as you know I like to make things interesting."

"Yes, I've noticed. So do you really hate Riku, because you never really answered my question?"

Leon laughed. He brushed the back of his hand along Sora's cheek and shook his head.

"Of course not. I'm just playing with him. Cloud wanted to just come out and tell him how he felt and what we were up to, but I talked him out of it. The idea was to get Riku to realize he was an idiot for throwing Cloud away, and then get so riled up that he just exploded."

"Your success is astoundingly immeasurable. I think he's planning your murder as we speak. It'll probably be slow and painful. I apologize for that, but once he gets an idea into his head, there's not stopping him."

"Well he was the one to end their relationship. I figured he should be the one to put it back together. It's kind of ridiculous to run back to someone who's dumped you and in a happy relationship with the person they dumped you for."

"Good point. So what's the fun way of doing this since I doubt you want to take the straightforward approach?"

"Your suspicions are completely correct. I say we continue as planned; only now it's us conspiring against them. We're going camping."

"Camping?"

"Camping. The four of us alone in the woods together. Now that I know my plan with Riku is working as expected, it's only a matter of time until I push him over the edge. We just need him to get angry with Cloud now."

"Why does he have to get angry with Cloud?"

"So that he gets pissed off enough to actually yell at him."

"Why do we want him to yell at Cloud again?"

"Because I can't see him confessing that he isn't over him any other way. Riku strikes me as a little on the proud side."

"Got that right. He won't do it, though. He thinks Cloud is completely over him. He thinks it's hopeless."

"Exactly. So does Cloud. And at this point, if Cloud just walks up to him and confesses, Riku isn't going to believe him. They can't know about us. Cloud will assume that Riku only wants him again because he can't have you."

Sora sighed and nodded.

"Yeah. Riku, too. God, they're frustrating."

"I know. That's why we need Riku to freak out about the flaunting. That's the best thing we have to go on. He's already losing his patience with me."

"I kind of feel bad about ticking Riku off on purpose."

"Don't. He's really amusing all pissy."

"You're horrible."

"You like it."

"Remind me why we're doing it the complicated way again?"

"Because it's more interesting."

"Oh, right. I almost forgot you like to keep things stirred up."

"I don't know how you could forget."

Leon stepped closer, slipping one leg between Sora's. He pressed his bare stomach against Sora, and it was then that it really sunk in just how close to naked they were. Sora's breath hitched as Leon's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Are you trying to get fresh with me?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

"Maybe."

"You're flirting."

"You're flirting."

"A little."

Sora suppressed a moan as Leon's mouth found his neck. He held his palms against Leon's chest and gave a gentle push.

"Not now, Casanova. Our fake boyfriends are going to wonder what takes us so long to take a leak. It's only a matter of time before they come after us."

Leon sighed. His head hung; his forehead knocked against the wall beside Sora's cheek.

"You pose a fair point. Don't think you're off the hook, Harada. We will continue at a later date."

Sora grinned and squirmed against Leon's body before pushing him away.

"I'm more than happy to take that rain check. Plan on me cashing it in soon."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"You better."

Sora walked back to the sliding doors leading out to the deck. He grinned, aware of Leon's eyes plastered to his hips as he retreated.

* * *

**_One more. Cause that's how I do._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Farce: An Experience In Idiocy  
**Author**: Page of Cups  
**Pairing**: Cloud Strife/Riku  
**Other Pairings**: Cloud/Leon, Riku/Sora, Leon/Sora  
**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating**: R  
**Theme**: #20 the road home

**Warning: There is some sexual content in this little story between two males. Just so you know.**

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I'm not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Leon was astounded at how idiotic he could be. He also held a fair amount of shame regarding his behavior over the past few days. It was only the third day of Sora and Riku's visit to Hollow Bastion and Leon couldn't exactly explain why he was so entertained by this farce he helped create. It was atypical of his nature to be so devious and sneaky. There was just something about that Sora Harada that sparked something in him—something that just made him want to roughhouse a little. Something that made him want to play. Something that took great pleasure in this accidental comedy of errors.

He was a fucking idiot. It was true that he'd known Sora was interested through most of the school year. It was also true that he enjoyed their pre-relationship flirtation and seduction. There was nothing more to it that Leon enjoyed the attention Sora bestowed upon him, and planned on seducing the little minx until he couldn't hold out any longer. That was why he'd extended the invitation to visit—in the hopes that Sora would take him up on his offer and Leon could continue his pursuit outside the walls of an educational facility.

Riku was a thorn in his side. Between Cloud's melodramatic moping and his coveted position as Sora's new boyfriend, Leon enjoyed ticking off the guy more than he should have. Leon supposed this was why—when it really came down to it, anyway—that he hadn't jumped at the simple solution when learning the truth. Leon liked pissing Riku off. It was that simplistic.

So here he was, chuckling to himself, as Cloud wrestled with the tent. This was more amusing than it should have really been, but he'd pinned Riku as being an indoor kind of boy. Sure, he probably went to the beach a lot, but the great outdoors were an entirely different atmosphere. When he started bitching about the bugs, Leon knew he'd been right. He looked across what was already set up of their campsite to Sora and smiled. Sora fidgeted for a few seconds before returning a grin.

Leon was even more of an idiot for taking the complex solution. If they'd just told Cloud and Riku about the moronic parallel of situations, he could have that gorgeous thing pinned beneath him right now. It wasn't that bad, though. He'd waited for Sora months-long already; a little longer wasn't going to kill his hormonal urges. Not when Sora was smiling at him like that, anyway.

"Do you need help with that?" said Sora, tearing his eyes away from Leon to Cloud.

Cloud dropped the poles and kicked them.

"This was the dumbest idea you've ever had," said Cloud.

Leon shrugged.

"You can build a car," said Leon. "You can fix a roof. My God, you've helped build houses. How am I supposed to know that the simplistic task of putting together a tent would escape you?"

"I don't know. Because we've known each other since the first grade? At this point it'd probably be easier to build a tree house out here."

"Faster, too. Sora's showing you up. I'm going to have to sleep with him and Riku tonight if you don't pick up the pace."

"Oh, fuck off."

Leon raised his eyebrows.

"You _are_ getting frustrated. It's not that hard."

"You do it then."

"I don't feel like it."

"Why don't you just fucking help if you're going to be so smug about it?" said Riku. Leon met his eyes, which were fierce, blazing. "Don't just sit there and patronize him if you're so talented."

"Why don't you?"

"Because I'm building the fire. I thought that was kind of obvious, or have you suddenly gone blind as well as lazy?"

"Where did this attitude come from?"

"Probably same place as yours."

"Would you two just shut up and knock it off?" said Cloud. He kicked the tent poles again for good measure. "I can't take it. Leon, Riku hates you. Riku, Leon enjoys pissing you off. There. It's out in the open. Now would someone shut their fucking mouth long enough to help me with this goddamn tent?"

His voice trailed off into a whine. Riku stared. Leon snorted. Sora half-raised his hand.

"I already offered to help."

"Oh, let me do it, for crissakes," said Leon. He crossed the space to Cloud and nudged Sora in the side as he joined them. Cloud took a deep breath. "Why don't you go help Riku with the fire or something?"

"I can handle a fire on my own, thanks," said Riku.

"Okay. Riku is starting the fire with his hatred of me. Why don't you unpack, then?"

Cloud looked between Leon and Riku. He huffed.

"Is this whole night going to be like this?" said Cloud.

Leon snuck a peek at Sora, winked, and stood to full height. His arms snaked around Cloud's waist and he brought their hips together with a little bump. He ran his thumb along Cloud's jaw line and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm sorry, okay?" said Leon. "I know I've been stressing you out, and I'm sorry."

Cloud closed his eyes and nodded. This was too easy.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I just . . . Play nice, okay? The tension's getting to me."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know. I'm not mad at you. I just . . ."

"I know."

Leon tilted Cloud's face up and pressed their lips together. From the corner of his eye, he saw Riku's glare attempting to bore through his soul. Leon smiled into the kiss, parted his mouth, and licked the tip of his tongue along Cloud's lower lip.

"You can be a weak little thing, you know that?"

Cloud's eyes shot open. Riku's nails dug into the dirt.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you know I'm just teasing you." Leon lowered his hand from Cloud's back to his ass and gave it a light slap. "Go unpack so I can put up this damn tent. As thrilling as the prospect of bunking up with Sora and Riku is, I'm starting to fear castration."

Cloud smiled.

"Maybe you should watch your mouth."

"Come on, Strife. You know I'm incapable of that."

"Better get on that tent, then."

Leon glanced in Riku's direction. His hands were flexing as if preparing to rip Leon's throat straight out of his body.

"Tell me about it."

-----0-----

Something about roasting marshmallows with Leon and Cloud snuggling by the fire was not how Riku wanted to spend his evening. It was disgusting, watching them canoodle around as if their world was perfect. The way their hands fit together was so wrong, and Leon was such a . . . a . . . well, okay, so Riku didn't have a word for whatever Leon was, but he knew that it was so bad there probably wasn't a word invented for it. Between the obnoxious tone of voice and the smug grin . . . Riku tried to breathe, tried to calm himself. It was obvious by this point that Leon hated him—truly enjoyed getting Riku all riled up. He damn near paraded Cloud around after setting up the tent. He coddled him in a way that was so damn annoying . . .

Riku wanted to grab the bastard, shake him, and tell him that Cloud didn't need to be cuddled because he was perfectly capable of doing the cuddling. It was supposed to be him in Cloud's arms, not Cloud in Leon's. There were so many things wrong with their relationship on so many levels that it was nothing short of a miracle that Riku didn't hoist the firewood into Leon's skull by now.

Dear God, as if it couldn't get any worse, Leon was freaking baby talking. He did this shit on purpose, Riku could swear. When he tried to point this out to Sora, he simply shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess he just really likes Cloud."

"I thought you said he wasn't always like this."

"He isn't. I don't know. I guess . . . I don't know. Maybe he's jealous of you."

"Of me?"

"Yes. Maybe he perceives you as a threat. He did say Cloud cursed my name to hell for a little while after coming home from school. And Aerith and Tifa said he was so happy with you over Christmas break. For all you know Leon just sees you as this guy that stole Cloud from him, broke his heart, and returned him in pieces. Now you're here, and my friend, and he's just . . ."

"I don't care, okay? I don't deserve this. Even if it is true. I don't. I just don't."

"Riku . . ."

"I don't want to hear it," said Riku in a hiss. Sora backed away. From across the fire, Riku heard Leon whisper some sappy, disgusting pet name. "I don't care if he's jealous or he sees me as a threat or whatever. If I hurt him, I didn't mean to do it. It was stupid to let him go. I acknowledge that. I'll also acknowledge that I did let him go and he's free to date whoever he likes, but my intentions weren't malicious. Leon's are. He's doing this on purpose and he loves every fucking second of it. And _you're_ siding with him."

"I'm not. I just . . ."

"Oh go to hell."

Sora straightened.

"What? I didn't do anything."

"I saw you."

"What?"

"This morning after your shower. I saw you and Leon in the kitchen."

Sora's look of innocence faded into guilt.

"What did you see?"

"Your face attached to his. When were you planning on telling me?"

"I . . . Riku . . ."

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

"It isn't what you think."

"No? I think Leon is a bastard. He's a lying, cheating, asinine bastard. He's done nothing over the past three days than try to piss me off. He's probably leading you on, and just look at him over there with Cloud like he's done nothing wrong. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. Cloud sure as hell doesn't deserve this. I don't care if Leon hates me, but he's got no right to cheat on him, and you have no business letting it happen."

"Riku, wait. I promise it isn't what you think. I can explain."

"What? You tripped and your lips just happened to land on Leon's?"

"No. I mean, yeah, we were kissing, but . . ."

"But what?"

"You two all right?" said Leon.

Leon's face was open, questioning, but Cloud looked ready to stick his head into the fire. Riku gritted his teeth.

"Sora and I are having a discussion if you don't mind."

"It sounds like you're having a fight."

"It's none of your business."

Beside him, Sora shook his head and waved his hands as if trying to signal Leon he was going too far. Leon caught Sora's eye and frowned.

"Okay," said Riku, taking in this exchange. "Someone better start talking because I want to know what the fuck is going on."

"What are you talking about?" said Leon.

"That fucking exchange right there to start. Or we could move on to the finer points of mine and Sora's disagreement since you're so eager to butt your head in where it doesn't belong. Why were you practically raping him in the kitchen this morning?"

Sora released a deep breath, slapped his hand over his face, and dropped his head. Leon's bravado faded; his arms dropped from Cloud. He, too, sighed and ran a hand over his hair.

"He saw?" said Leon.

"I was trying to take care of it," said Sora. "You have terrible timing."

"Well you're not denying it. That's a start," said Riku.

Cloud pulled away from Leon and sat forward, leaning his forearms on his knees. He frowned.

"Could someone explain to me what's going on?"

"Sure can," said Riku. "This morning I went down to the kitchen for a drink and found your boyfriend attached at the lips to my best friend. That's what's going on."

"Best friend," said Leon. His eyebrow quirked. "Is that what you kids call it these days?"

Riku's face fell.

"You were kissing Sora?" said Cloud.

Leon sighed.

"Yes. I was kissing Sora."

Cloud nodded and bit his lip.

"When did this happen?"

"This morning."

"When did it start, Leon?"

"Yesterday. Listen . . ."

"Is this part of the plan, too?"

"Plan?" said Riku. "What _plan_?"

"No," said Leon. "Cloud . . ."

"Everyone just shut up and listen," said Sora. All three gazes turned to him. "Wow. That was easier than I expected."

"Say whatever it is you want to say and get it over with," said Riku. "I've had enough of this bullshit and I'm about two seconds away from going home without you."

"You've had enough of this bullshit?" said Cloud. "You? For the love of Shiva, spare me. What's happened to you? Leon's been a little harsh? Or is it because Sora isn't as obsessed with you as you'd hoped?"

"Excuse me?"

"You have not right to be as fucking bratty as you've been since you got here. Yeah, sure, Leon's been a little over the top and kind of a prick, but he hasn't really done anything to you. I've tried to be as pleasant and accommodating as possible, but if anyone should be pissed off around here it's me."

"You? Why do you merit the right to be pissed off? You've been happy as a fucking clam cuddling up to your new boyfriend, fucking _flaunting _your relationship like I don't exist. Like I'm not standing right here to listen to every sickening little comment or see every adorable little gesture. I'm nauseated with the both of you."

"Me? Me. Seriously? You . . ." Cloud broke off into an irritated sort of laugh. Sora squirmed. "You are so . . ."

"So what? What am I, Cloud? You can borrow a few words from Leon if you'd like. He'd got a laundry list of them."

"Knock it off," said Leon. "Right now."

"Oh, I don't even want to hear what you have to say," said Cloud.

"No, really," said Sora. "Let him talk."

"Why should he?" said Riku. "He's fucking cheating on him. I wouldn't hear him out, either."

"No one is cheating on anyone because there are no relationships here to cheat on and we're all a bunch of morons," said Leon. "Now you both shut up and fucking listen because there have been more misunderstandings in the past three days than I've experienced in the past three years. Got it?"

Riku stared.

"What do you mean there are no relationships to cheat on?"

"Cloud and I aren't dating, you imbecile. We never were. We've been faking it this whole time trying to make you jealous. Until you showed up, all I heard about day in and out was about how much he missed you. How much he hated Sora for stealing you. How badly he'd give anything to be back with you, and how he doesn't want to consider dating anyone else because he wants _you_. Honestly, I don't see where the attraction comes from, but it's his life."

Cloud groaned and buried his face in his arms. Leon kicked him in the shin and continued.

"That's what he's pissed off about. Because he thought you didn't tell Sora. Because he's had to keep quiet and I told him it was best not to go running back to you because you dumped him. Think about it, Riku. How would it look if you showed up with the love of your life, completely content, and he's not over you yet?

"Ordinarily I wouldn't have gone along with something as retarded as this, but I've been trying to snag Sora all year. I was fucking thrilled he was coming until I found out he was bringing his boyfriend. Excuse me if I wanted to show off a little for him, but I'm not in love with Cloud; I'm crazy about Sora. So I didn't cheat on anyone."

Cloud groaned. He lifted his head.

"Leon, please tell me you didn't just say everything I think you did."

Leon cleared his throat. He seemed to have regained his composure.

"Can't do that."

"Sweet fucking Shiva . . ."

"No, Cloud, it's okay . . ."

"Is this part of the plan?"

"No, Cloud. The plan is over. The plan was pointless. That's what I'm going on about here."

"The plan was pointless?" said Cloud. His eyes grew, and something akin to insanity swam in his eyes. "The plan was _pointless_? No shit, Leon! I told you the plan was pointless. I told you about a thousand times the plan was pointless, but no. You don't want to look pathetic, Cloud. I'm going to make Riku hate my guts for you, Cloud. Once I steal Sora, he's all yours, Cloud. I told you this was stupid. I told you I didn't want to do this, but you insisted, and now the plan is pointless?"

Leon frowned. He bit his lip.

"To a certain degree, yes."

"To a certain degree? And you didn't even tell me about Sora. Leon, I . . . I just . . ."

"There's a very good reason for that, you know."

"I hope it isn't like your reasons for the plan, because in case you missed the broadcast, it was pointless."

Leon's lips twitched; his face dropped toward the ground.

"Well, yes, it had _something _to do with the plan . . ."

"Oh for the love of . . ."

"Wait," said Riku. Cloud turned his crazed look around a few times before settling on Riku. "You and Leon aren't dating? You aren't . . . you know . . . happily ever after and all that?"

Cloud sighed. His eyes calmed.

"No. We're not. I'm miserable, alone, and I wish I could back in time before I ever met you so I wouldn't know how bad this kind of heartbreak feels. Satisfied? Not pissed off anymore?"

Riku shook his head. His breath caught in his throat.

"No. I . . . Sora and I broke up."

Cloud lifted his head.

"What?"

"Sora and I. We broke up. First day we got here. I was . . . I was miserable without you, too."

"He realized after we got together that everything he thought we'd have he already had with you," said Sora.

Riku rolled his eyes and glared.

"I think that's our cue to leave," said Leon.

"Where are we supposed to go?" said Sora.

"Away?" supplied Riku. "I think whatever master plan you were working on now to get us back together has already caused enough damage, don't you think?"

Sora bit his lip. Leon stared around the clearing.

"Wow, Sora," said Leon. "Don't those trees over there look mighty interesting?"

"They all look the same."

Leon stomped on Sora's foot.

"Oh, yeah," said Sora. "Fascinating. We should go look at them up close. Which ones are they again?"

Leon grabbed Sora by the arm and dragged him away. Once they disappeared into the night, Riku scratched the back of his head and sighed.

"Well, looks like I fucked this one up, too."

Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"I fucked us up by dumping you. Then I fucked up my chances of getting back with you by pretending I was still with Sora, and blowing up at Leon, and . . . I don't know . . ."

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Sora broke up?"

"Because when we got off the bus you looked so happy with Leon. I . . . I didn't want you to know that I broke up with you for nothing. I already felt like such an idiot and you seemed so over it that I just couldn't . . ."

"Yeah," said Cloud, nodding. "It was Leon's genius idea, you know? Wanted me to pretend to be his boyfriend to make Sora jealous before I even knew you were coming. I put up a good fight, but when I saw you with him, I just . . . I didn't want you to know, either."

"We are a couple of idiots, huh?"

Cloud shrugged.

"I'm just an idiot for listening to Leon. You're an idiot for breaking up with me. If you had just stuck it out, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"I'll accept being the bigger idiot if you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"That's not even a challenge."

Cloud closed the distance between them, wrapped his arms around Riku, and pulled him into a hug.

"I can't tell you how much I hated seeing you with Leon."

"I doubt it matched how much I hated seeing you with Sora."

"I'll take that bet. I've been hating Leon with the fire of a thousand suns."

"I could tell. I warned Leon that you were going to murder him." Cloud paused for a second. His expression grew more serious. "I wanted to tell you."

Riku shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. We're together now. We are together, aren't we?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Riku sighed. He buried his face into Cloud's neck and inhaled. He nodded.

"Being with Sora . . . it felt so . . . so wrong. I belong with you."

"Tell me about it. I've been feeling so uke it's starting to squick me out."

"It was driving me crazy, too."

"What? Not being uke?"

"No. Watching you like that."

Cloud's face grew irritated. He shook his head, eyelids half-closed.

"Don't even start. Having you watch me like that has destroyed my self-esteem. I could kill Leon, so don't you even bother. Let me get to him first. You didn't have to spend the last three days hearing his little pep talks. I have more qualifications to be his murderer than you do."

Riku laughed.

"Okay. It's a deal."

"I guess things managed to turn out all right, huh?"

"Yeah. Only now you've got to tell everyone you and Leon aren't really together."

Cloud shook his head.

"No need. Everyone was in on it. Tifa. Aerith. It was one of Leon's elaborate set ups. Like the club. Like this camping trip, I'm sure. Like the volleyball game. It was all Leon. We didn't do a single thing that wasn't meant to piss you off or make you feel bad for leaving me."

"So Leon executed your revenge, huh?"

"Yeah, that and he really wanted you and Sora to break up so he could have him instead."

"I guess I can stop hating Leon, then."

"No, that's not a requirement to be my boyfriend."

"It is to be Sora's best friend, though."

"Guess you're shit out of luck then."

"Guess so. Is he still going to badger me?"

"Doubt it. He'll be too preoccupied with other things. Like Sora."

"Ah, right. He's very persistent, isn't he?"

"You could say that."

"At least everything worked out."

"Thank Shiva for small miracles." Cloud paused, arms still wrapped tight around Riku. "Hey, Riku?"

"Hm?"

"If you ever leave me again, I'm going to kill you. It's too much work trying to win you back even as a willing party."

Riku laughed.

"It's a deal."

"Would you just kiss me already?"

Riku smiled. He snaked his hands from Cloud's grip, cupped the back of his neck, and pulled his head forward. Their lips met for a brief moment. Cloud smirked.

"Yeah, you know what? I don't feel a thing anymore. I think I'm finally over you."

"Oh, shut up."

The second kiss was stronger, deeper. From the trees, Leon snickered. Sora jabbed him in the ribs.

"What? They crack me up."

"I think that's enough out of you for at least a year or so."

"Oh, yeah? Try and stop me."

"So not even a problem."

"Flirt."

"Look who's talking."

"Me?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Would you two go away?" called Riku.

"Yeah. We're trying to make out here. Without an audience," said Cloud.

Sora snickered.

* * *

**_Ah. Finis._**

**_So I have no problem in admitting this is what I've been working on for the last few days exclusively._**

**_Leave a review if you like. I'm off to bed as I just got chastised for not sleeping since I need to go to Harrisburg today for swimmy swimmy like a fishy fishy._**

**_See y'all soon. And yes. Probably with 100 Steps._**


End file.
